i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
