After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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