okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
