good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
