No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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