Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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