ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
