True but thats because hes a fetus.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
