She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we're so committed to being not committed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
