i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
being pregnant is like rehab
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
