kristin has been a bad kristin
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
