so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
