He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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