OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize