i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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