speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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