i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
