I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
