when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
