i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
