She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
