So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
