where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im six kinds of drunk right now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
