Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
