what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
