i love accidental penises.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I could fuck to npr.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
