Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just gift wrapped bread.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
