I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
