Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If I die, sorry about rent.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
