I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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