We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
