Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
