I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My liver just broke up with me...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
