Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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