Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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