I want to make a zoo with you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize