I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
im on a boat
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