isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
