I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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