I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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