he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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