i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
