I CAN MOONWALK!
i already hear my dad disowning me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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