Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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