Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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