I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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