i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
