He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize