he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
