as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
