just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
