Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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