If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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