The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
