How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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