the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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