umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
