i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
