We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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