ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
