i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
