Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
