How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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