so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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