I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I party with great urgency now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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