May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
