every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
