Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
