I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
