Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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